The last day at my job was January 4, 2022. It was a good day, but for me personally it was a little difficult. There is always difficulty in passing from one season to another because oftentimes the people in those seasons change. Some relationships are maintained, and others are left behind because they were established and rooted around the things of that season. It is always a little difficult for me to work through that dynamic personally because I love people and I want relationships to last forever. Due to the way I am wired, I do not automatically differentiate between relationships and friendships; they are often one and the same to me. I love people, I love to serve people, and I will give what I can to a relationship or friendship. I have had to learn over the years that there is a difference between the two and I cannot be the only one maintaining the friendship. Thus, the difficulty I have moving into new seasons.
I must trust the friendships that are meant to carry on will be carried on by both parties and the ones that are not meant to carry on…all you can do is transition really well and honor those individuals to the best of your ability. It does no one any good, to burn bridges and hurt people over seasons changing, but often we do exactly that. With transition comes the temptation to air your grievances and tell people what you feel, but in the end that benefits NO ONE. I loved the people I worked with over the last 3 years, they helped me gain back my identity in my Father, and we were all part of one another’s journey. To journey together on this path of life is one of the greatest gifts we have been given…I am a firm believer we do not take this as seriously as we should. We were made for community, and we were made to walk this life together; relying on and serving one another. I am SO thankful for the people that were in my life at this time, they were placed in my path by the Lord.
The hardest part of the Lord’s calling during this season has been my fear of being completely honest with people and why Danielle and I were making the decisions we were making. There is always a fear about when you hear from the Lord and take a step of faith that people will think you are crazy or mistaken. We (including myself) often judge people based on our own life situations, experiences, strengths, weaknesses, etc. For example, one of my spiritual gifts is faith. All of us are called to walk in faith, but I believe some people have been called to walk in a different type of faith (1 Corinthians 12:8-10), a spiritual gift of faith. I am by no means comparing myself to these people but think of Hebrews 11, all these individuals walked in the spiritual gift of faith. God told them to do something, and they jumped off the proverbial cliff and said yes. This is part of the lens that I view the world through and if I am not careful with it, I will judge others by it. I see someone who has an opportunity to do something great if they would just step out in faith…but what I do not understand is that they were not called to take the same risk or leap of faith I am. In doing so, I misjudge their faith as weak, but the reality is, it is simply NOT what their calling is. This is where my own fear comes into play. I am keenly aware of my own frailty so when I take a leap of faith, I do so with the fear of being misjudged by others. So, I do not tell the full story of what the Lord is doing in our lives, which quite possibly is not allowing others to encourage us or to be encouraged. One of my friends so clearly communicated that it is often our gift that will crush us if we allow it to. This is why I must continually run back to the Father for assurance and strength.
There is a lot of freedom in following the Holy Spirit and his direction, but it is also when attack comes from the enemy, and we are at our most vulnerable and exposed state. The next day I woke up, immediately trying to fill my 8-5 day with “work.” I was striving to feel valuable, to accomplish something, to prove myself, and all the Lord wanted me to do was rest for a few days. Over this period Danielle and I had to be very intentional about spending time together in prayer with each other and on our own. I worked hard to maintain a very consistent time early in the morning to read the Bible, study His Word, and spend time in prayer and worship. I had to be super conscious of thoughts and emotions running through my head because our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the dark forces of this world. In all transparency, this was a battle I needed to be exposed to and needed to fight through. The Lord used this period to help me learn to discern between what was actually happening and a fabricated emotional story my brain was creating. The valleys of attack are the greatest opportunities of learning that we have; embrace the suck, learn, and stay on the path the Lord has for you in obedience…the end result is more wisdom, patience and confidence in the Father.
One little addition as I read through this post again…we must never underestimate the power of our feelings. If they are left unto themselves they will lead us down destructive roads; destroying relationships, opportunities, etc. Our feelings will deceive us, “The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked” (Jeremiah 17:9). For those of us who are “feelers”, this is a great asset because your empathy is a gift and can be used to listen and encourage. But if you allow your feelings to drive you, then you will end up, isolated, lonely and often put the blame on everyone else. Times of transition are a time to remain guarded, staying firm in TRUTH. Paul encourages us in Philippians to dwell on what is noble, what is right, what is pure, what is lovely, and what is admirable…this goes for our words too…we are to be the light of the world and shine, that means my words MUST speak life.
With so much confidence I speak this…you were created for a purpose! That purpose includes having a positive impact on those around you, go…and make a difference.
With love and blessings,
There is enough in this blog for many sermons. Allowing us to walk with you along the path of your journey. You let us into your life and family, decisions, struggles and victories. Thank you for sharing. An aspect I love is the “oneness” of you and Danielle. You both have opened your whole self to the other—being open, honest and brave enough to speak up, discuss issues, question thoughts and ideas and deal with whatever is in front of you. Beautiful.
I love you all! ❤️
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