January 27 was a Thursday like any other; I woke up early, put my running clothes on, and went out for a run. Up to this point there had been many hours of prayer and focusing on what the Lord was calling our family to, but not many answers had come our way. This particular morning the Lord would change all of that and challenge my faith in a pretty big way.
As I was about mid-way through the run, I heard that familiar small voice whisper to me, “Scott, faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains. What mountain would you like me to move?” I remember feeling incredibly humbled when I heard this. My only response was, “I want to know my calling without a shadow of doubt. I want to walk in confidence, but humility. As far as what I do, I want to do only what you want me to do. I want the desires of your heart not mine. I trust your desires more.” Over the years I have learned that when I take on things myself, when I try to meet a desire of my heart without prayer and petition before the Lord, I fall down hard. I was tired of trying and failing on my own…and my heart’s desire at this point is to only do what my Father asks me to do and only say what my Father asks me to say…just like my Savior Jesus, my example.
As I continued my run I heard the Lord whisper again, “Scott, you have faith greater than a mustard seed, mountains will move for you.” As I heard those words and continued to run, I remember struggling with the ability to dream of the mountain…what mountain did I really want the Lord to move? I do not trust my own desires, I only trust His, and I needed him to show me. I kept running and processing and found myself dreaming about my perfect job. I remember my heart softening and a desire to serve washed over me. The Lord was helping me shift my mountain away from benefiting me to moving a mountain that would impact others. The thought popped into my head that I wanted the opportunity to return to an older project that I never had the opportunity to finish…I wanted to refocus that project and see it become successful so it would be a blessing to two specific leaders at the company. My desire was to serve two people I had a lot of respect for and see the fruits of their leadership be successful. I knew that through this the Lord would provide greatly for our family at the same time and allow us to continue down a road of generosity. I remember asking the Lord to open the door and remove any barrier in the way so the mountain could move.
I rushed home and wrote the experience in my journal. But then the inevitable happened…doubts arose, the flesh attempted to seize control, and temptation came marching in. We MUST be diligent and stay disciplined and know the enemy is crouching at the door and waiting to pounce at the most opportune time. Usually, for me my most vulnerable times are when I hear specific direction from the Lord, the enemy creeps in and whispers lies, “what you just heard and envisioned is all in your head…it will never happen.” I have to remind myself the battle belongs to the Lord and all I have to do is follow His steps.
Easier said than done…