We are taking a brief detour from Scott’s posts to hear from me, Danielle. I think it’s easy for us to gloss over the yuckiness of some seasons, especially once we have gotten to the other side and have had time to process. Obviously, my experience in this season was a bit different than Scott’s. My focus was trying to encourage him, praying A LOT (both personally and getting my prayer warriors involved), and reminding him that the Lord was working even when we couldn’t see it.
The Bible study I’m a part of has been studying Matthew this year and it has been such a sweet gift from the Lord as we went through the seasons Scott has outlined here. God met me in several ways through that study, reminding me that he is sovereign, and he is faithful. His plans and purposes come to pass, despite our human attempts to change or influence them. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” It may be messy in the in-between, but he is faithful.
While I was confident in God’s plans, I was struggling with Scott’s struggling! I know the saying is that if momma ain’t happy, ain’t no body happy, but this applies to daddies too. It felt like Scott was constantly battling a wide range of emotions and feelings. On Valentine’s Day, I reached out to my prayer warriors and asked them to pray. This was my text, “Please be praying for our family. I’m weary. Sometimes it feels like Scott is not much less miserable than before. I know it’s better, but every day is hard in the meantime.” I was getting desperate. And in my desperation, Scott and I had an intense and emotional discussion. I know I was all over the place in the things I was saying to him, but I had reached a breaking point where I couldn’t hold it in and be strong anymore. I just had to get it out. We made a promise to not let resentment grow between us and I was frankly getting to the point where I was going to start resenting him for my view of his attitude in this season.
I felt like he was always looking for more. Looking to do something more. I remember asking him, “what is enough?” Now admittedly, I enjoy routine and normalcy and low risk. Scott is the opposite! That’s why God put us together, to balance each other out. He is driven, me not so much. I was an emotional wreck, but Scott was calm and reflective. It was not an easy conversation, but just as back in December, we had reached another breaking point. At the end of our conversation, under the Holy Spirit’s prompting (definitely not my own), I asked him, “What if your full surrender to doing JUST the three things God told you to do is the very thing that will cause a breakthrough in this season?” He didn’t have an answer right then, but I knew he would continue to process the question. He is teachable, always trying to learn from his experiences. I love that about him.
Now back to Scott…
I found your post fascinating. Interesting to see Scott’s post from the other side. Your perspective. The picture is more real when it is rounded out. That could be said of so many situations. Usually what we don’t know is more than what we do know of other people’s stories. I love the transparency. Helps me to know you better and understand your together journey.
You and Scott both are gifted writers. Thank you for sharing.